Greetings humans. Today I have conquered the food lady. She lets me sit at the table now, like the civilised creature I am. I drink wine and wait patiently to be served. I try to avoid putting my elbows on the table, but unfortunately my arms are freakishly long for a pug. The humans call me Dudley, and think it’s hilarious. Little do they know that the next evolutionary step is thumbs… Then we’ll see who’s laughing.